The Man Rules

The Man Rules

   Finally  , the guys' side of the story. 

We always hear  " the rules "  
From the female side ….

  Now here are the rules from the male side.      

These are our rules! 
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" 
ON PURPOSE!

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.. 
(  FIRST & FOREMOST RULE )

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. 
You're a big girl.  If it's up, put it down. 
We need it up, you need it down. 
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 

1. Sunday sports.  It's like the full moon 
or the changing of the tides. 
Let it be. 

1. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. 
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work! 
Strong hints do not work! 
Obvious hints do not work! 
Just say it! 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 

1. Come to us with a problem  only  if you want help solving it.  That's what we do. 
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. 
Don't ask us. 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,

we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something 
or tell us how you want it done. 
Not both. 
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. 
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not  A  colour.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is.  

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. 
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. 
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.. 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...  Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football 
or Hockey. 

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 

1. Thank you for reading this. 
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; 

But did you know men really don't mind that?  It's like camping. 

Wacky Photographs Collection

Here's a couple of cleverly taken photographs. See if you can spot what makes these pictures way cool as well as wacky.










































No image manipulation or picture editing software was used to alter these photographs.

Evolution

A wacky perspective on Evolution ...

Woman


Man

The Story of the Horse and the Pig

Dreaming of raising thoroughbreds a farmer invests all his savings into buying one that became very ill within a month.

He brings in the best Vet he could afford to examine the horse and is told
“He has been infected with a very dangerous virus.
Here is the medicine you need to give him twice daily. I will be back in 3 days – if he is still unable to walk at that stage he will have to be put down”

This was overheard by a piglet that shared the stables with the horse.
Alarmed with this news, little pig went over to the horse and pleaded with him:
“My friend, please try to get up!".

Day 2 – no change
piglet kept on pleading with the horse:

“PLEASE get up or they will kill you!"

Day 3 – farmer administered the medicine but the horse is still on the ground.

Vet examined the horse and walking out of the stables sadly said :

“There is no choice – we have to put him down or the other animals could get ill".

Piglet having heard that raced over to the horse saying:
“GET UP NOW ! The vet is on his way.
It is NOW OR NEVER !!!“

Gathering all his strength the horse stood up and raced out of the stables


Farmer started jumping for joy and yelled out to the farm hands:

“This is a miracle !
This has to be celebrated properly !“

What have we learned here?

Always mind your own bloody business
and don’t meddle into things that do not involve you!

A Great Story

Here's a wacky perspective on stories.  Not just any type of story, great stories.

Ever found yourself in a situation hard to explain ....



Take courage. Never underestimate the power of a great story.

Car Pooling

Extreme Water Slide

We all like those water slides don't we. So does these guys.

Another Wacky Perspective On: The Swine Flew

Traveling tip for the day ... annoying passengers

Things to do on a plane when seated next to an annoying passenger......

1. Remove your lap top from its bag
2. Open the laptop slowly and carefully
3. Switch on your laptop 
4. From the corner of your eye, ensure the passenger next to you is watching
5. Turn on the Internet
6. Close your eyes for a brief moment, open them again, turn your gaze upwards to the skies as if in prayer
7. Take a deep breath and open this site
8. From the corner of your eye observe the facial expression of your neighboring passenger.

A wacky perspective on the effects of modern living

Here is some more wacky technological perspectives on computer upgrades and our modern way of life ...

The only upgrade your pc still needs, It's already doing everything else ...

A sorely lacking feature in scheduling software ...

A more expressive keyboard ...

A more expressive mouse ...

this is how we're usually dressed when we're shopping ...

listen when I'm typing to you ...

research ...

assistance ...

trial software ...

training ...

peripherals ...

safety ...

in the absence of the real thing ...

the evolution of expression ...