A Perspective on Statistics

And now for another wacky viewpoint. Funny side of life presents: A Perspective on Statistics Inspired by songs and icons from the 80's

Failed Signs

Have you ever seen some signs that made absolutely no sense. Well here's some hilarious FAILED signs.

Have you ever felt dizzy?

Have a look at these pictures and you certainly will.

On medicine and pharmacology

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of  Panadol also has a generic name of Paracetamol. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Nurofen is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to pour himself a stiff one, literally. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky Boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. It's all true, Really!  Not.

Why no coloreds were involved in 9/11

Here's follows some uniquely South African humor. South Africa is a country filled with rich cultural diversity. None more so than the colored community. Here is  South African comedian Mark Lottering's comical view on why he believes no coloreds could have been involved in the Sept 11 bombing of the American twin towers.

For our non South African readers, unique phrases in Afrikaans (a language spoken in SA), are provided down below.

Mark Lottering (popular SA comedian) On Why no coloreds were involved in 9/11

• Ons is altyd laat¹.  We would have missed all 4 flights.

• We talk loud and would bring attention to ourselves.

• Met free kos en cooldrink oppie plane²,  we'll sommer³ forget why we're there.

• We praat with our hands⁴, so we'll continually be putting the weapons down.

• We would ALL want to fly the freaking plane, ending in a "moerse"⁵ fight with each other.

• We'll sommer⁶ argue and start a fight in the terminal before we even get on the plane & one of us is bound to say out loud: 'Gaan kak⁷ man! Dan hijack jy die foken plane alleen!!' ⁸

• Ons kannie 'n secret hou nie⁹. We would have told everyone a week before doing it, telling them: 'Moet vir niemand se nie, ho!' ¹⁰

• We would have insisted that the plane fly past Strandfontein Pavillion. ¹¹

• We would have all lined up to get our photograph taken by one of the hostages.

• When we enter the cockpit, we would have used the intercom system for a karaoke session, with one doos¹² trying to sing 'I did it my way'.

• We would first rob every one of their RayBans, cellphones and gold teeth, just before we crash the plane.

• Our whole freaking family plus neighbors would have been at the airport to see us off, crying their "bleddie¹³" eyes out, and your mother saying to the white ou¹⁴ next to her: 'I'm so proud of him. It's the first time he's hijacking a plane!'

• We would have dressed like terrorists for our airport going away clothes: balaclavas, jumpsuits, karate skoentjies¹⁵, dark glasses, en 'n moerse attitude.

• Two of us would have forgotten our passports at home.

• Three of us would have overweight luggage.

• All of us would have luggage.

• We would have all wanted to watch the in flight movie first.

• Before we went into action, we would have all queued up at the toilet to first gel our hair.

• We would have taken the plane for a joyride first, played the music at full blast and try to park the plane somewhere where the chicks could see us.

Translations: (For our non South African readers)

1 Ons is altyd laat: We’re always late
2 Met free kos en cooldrink oppie plane: With free food and drinks on the airplane
3 Sommer: simply 4 We praat with our hands: We talk with our hands
5 moerse: adj. South African slang meaning really big or numerous.
6 Sommer: simply
7 Gaan kak: Go shit
8 Dan hijack jy die foken plane alleen: Then you hijack the f**king airplane on your own
9 Ons kannie 'n secret hou nie: We can't keep a scret
10  Moet vir niemand se nie, ho: Don't tell anybody, you hear
11 Strandfontein Pavillion: A popular South African tourist hotspot
12 Doos: (afrikaans swearword) polite translation: asshole
13 Bleddie: afrikaans slang for bloody
14 Ou: guy
15 Skoentjies: shoes (diminutive form, i.e. little shoes)

HOW TO LOSE YOUR WIFE IN 1 NIGHT

I came across this receipt a friend emailed me with a very appropriate caption.

From Johannes Cloete's Wacky World

Engrish Lesson: Lost in Translation

We all speak da Engrish Language very deliciously. Some of these English translations are hilarious.

From Engrish Pictures: Lost in Translation

Bizarre Tombstones

I came across these pictures of the most bizarre tombstones ever.

From bizarre tomstones

Click on image see more.

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

If you're a South African, you may appreciate the following.

1. Open a new file on your computer.
2. Save it as "Jacob Zuma".
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of 'Jacob Zuma'?"
6. Firmly Click "Yes".

  Feel better? Tomorrow we'll do Julius Malema.

How to fail a breathalizer test

Here's one way:

Scientific Progress

Scientists in South Korea have created a dog that glows in the dark. Finally! We'll be right with you, cancer and AIDS, right now we are very busy illuminating this beagle.