The Story of the Horse and the Pig

Dreaming of raising thoroughbreds a farmer invests all his savings into buying one that became very ill within a month.

He brings in the best Vet he could afford to examine the horse and is told
“He has been infected with a very dangerous virus.
Here is the medicine you need to give him twice daily. I will be back in 3 days – if he is still unable to walk at that stage he will have to be put down”

This was overheard by a piglet that shared the stables with the horse.
Alarmed with this news, little pig went over to the horse and pleaded with him:
“My friend, please try to get up!".

Day 2 – no change
piglet kept on pleading with the horse:

“PLEASE get up or they will kill you!"

Day 3 – farmer administered the medicine but the horse is still on the ground.

Vet examined the horse and walking out of the stables sadly said :

“There is no choice – we have to put him down or the other animals could get ill".

Piglet having heard that raced over to the horse saying:
“GET UP NOW ! The vet is on his way.
It is NOW OR NEVER !!!“

Gathering all his strength the horse stood up and raced out of the stables


Farmer started jumping for joy and yelled out to the farm hands:

“This is a miracle !
This has to be celebrated properly !“

What have we learned here?

Always mind your own bloody business
and don’t meddle into things that do not involve you!

A Great Story

Here's a wacky perspective on stories.  Not just any type of story, great stories.

Ever found yourself in a situation hard to explain ....



Take courage. Never underestimate the power of a great story.

THE FRONT FELL OFF

On August 19th, 2007, an oil tanker off the coast of Australia split in two, dumping 20,000 tons of crude oil. Senator Collins, a member of the Australian Parliament, appeared on a TV news program to reassure the Australian public.

This actual interview is so funny, you'd swear it was a Saturday Night Live or Monty Python skit - but it's the real thing.








TV news program appearance

Nagging

A wacky perspective on the desire to get away from Nagging ...

Car Pooling

A Letter from the Over 30 Crowd

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... barefoot... BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!! There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents! Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe! There were no MP3' s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come undone. Cause - that's how we rolled, dig? We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... forever! And you could never win.. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! NO REMOTES!!! There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards! And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove! Imagine that! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in my day! Regards, The Over 30 Crowd

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Play stations, Nintendos and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVDs, no surround-sound or CDs, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. If YOU are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS!

Medical Definitions: Guts or Balls...

Here is another wacky perspective on medical definitions ... There is a medical distinction.. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ''Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'' BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: ''You're next, fatty.'' I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.

Grandma's Red Car

Don't you just hate it when your car gets stolen.  So does Grandma.

Some people are like Slinkies...

Wacky Poster of the day

The Funny Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood

And now for some more wacky perspectives on ... Relationships: Health: Becoming Older: Life:

Extreme Water Slide

We all like those water slides don't we. So does these guys.

Another Wacky Perspective On: The Swine Flew

Traveling tip for the day ... annoying passengers

Things to do on a plane when seated next to an annoying passenger......

1. Remove your lap top from its bag
2. Open the laptop slowly and carefully
3. Switch on your laptop 
4. From the corner of your eye, ensure the passenger next to you is watching
5. Turn on the Internet
6. Close your eyes for a brief moment, open them again, turn your gaze upwards to the skies as if in prayer
7. Take a deep breath and open this site
8. From the corner of your eye observe the facial expression of your neighboring passenger.

A wacky perspective on the effects of modern living

Here is some more wacky technological perspectives on computer upgrades and our modern way of life ...

The only upgrade your pc still needs, It's already doing everything else ...

A sorely lacking feature in scheduling software ...

A more expressive keyboard ...

A more expressive mouse ...

this is how we're usually dressed when we're shopping ...

listen when I'm typing to you ...

research ...

assistance ...

trial software ...

training ...

peripherals ...

safety ...

in the absence of the real thing ...

the evolution of expression ...

Soweto Bring and Braai

Here's a picture I found hilarious. Soweto Bring and Braai

Some Definitions:
'Soweto' is a primarily African ethnic populated suburb in South Africa 'Braai' is South African for Barbecue 'Bring and Braai' is when everyone arrives with some meat and then have a barbecue get together Note: I'm not exactly sure what the purpose was for this guy cycling with a goat tied to his back, but the caption is aptly humorously coined. Context information: Amongst the African culture in South Africa it is not uncommon for them to arrive with live animals at a get together.  They proceed to slaughter these animals after arrival before barbecuing the meat.  Goats are used often as its a source of relatively inexpensive meat.

A Perspective on Statistics

And now for another wacky viewpoint. Funny side of life presents: A Perspective on Statistics Inspired by songs and icons from the 80's

Failed Signs

Have you ever seen some signs that made absolutely no sense. Well here's some hilarious FAILED signs.

Have you ever felt dizzy?

Have a look at these pictures and you certainly will.

On medicine and pharmacology

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of  Panadol also has a generic name of Paracetamol. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Nurofen is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to pour himself a stiff one, literally. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky Boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. It's all true, Really!  Not.

Why no coloreds were involved in 9/11

Here's follows some uniquely South African humor. South Africa is a country filled with rich cultural diversity. None more so than the colored community. Here is  South African comedian Mark Lottering's comical view on why he believes no coloreds could have been involved in the Sept 11 bombing of the American twin towers.

For our non South African readers, unique phrases in Afrikaans (a language spoken in SA), are provided down below.

Mark Lottering (popular SA comedian) On Why no coloreds were involved in 9/11

• Ons is altyd laat¹.  We would have missed all 4 flights.

• We talk loud and would bring attention to ourselves.

• Met free kos en cooldrink oppie plane²,  we'll sommer³ forget why we're there.

• We praat with our hands⁴, so we'll continually be putting the weapons down.

• We would ALL want to fly the freaking plane, ending in a "moerse"⁵ fight with each other.

• We'll sommer⁶ argue and start a fight in the terminal before we even get on the plane & one of us is bound to say out loud: 'Gaan kak⁷ man! Dan hijack jy die foken plane alleen!!' ⁸

• Ons kannie 'n secret hou nie⁹. We would have told everyone a week before doing it, telling them: 'Moet vir niemand se nie, ho!' ¹⁰

• We would have insisted that the plane fly past Strandfontein Pavillion. ¹¹

• We would have all lined up to get our photograph taken by one of the hostages.

• When we enter the cockpit, we would have used the intercom system for a karaoke session, with one doos¹² trying to sing 'I did it my way'.

• We would first rob every one of their RayBans, cellphones and gold teeth, just before we crash the plane.

• Our whole freaking family plus neighbors would have been at the airport to see us off, crying their "bleddie¹³" eyes out, and your mother saying to the white ou¹⁴ next to her: 'I'm so proud of him. It's the first time he's hijacking a plane!'

• We would have dressed like terrorists for our airport going away clothes: balaclavas, jumpsuits, karate skoentjies¹⁵, dark glasses, en 'n moerse attitude.

• Two of us would have forgotten our passports at home.

• Three of us would have overweight luggage.

• All of us would have luggage.

• We would have all wanted to watch the in flight movie first.

• Before we went into action, we would have all queued up at the toilet to first gel our hair.

• We would have taken the plane for a joyride first, played the music at full blast and try to park the plane somewhere where the chicks could see us.

Translations: (For our non South African readers)

1 Ons is altyd laat: We’re always late
2 Met free kos en cooldrink oppie plane: With free food and drinks on the airplane
3 Sommer: simply 4 We praat with our hands: We talk with our hands
5 moerse: adj. South African slang meaning really big or numerous.
6 Sommer: simply
7 Gaan kak: Go shit
8 Dan hijack jy die foken plane alleen: Then you hijack the f**king airplane on your own
9 Ons kannie 'n secret hou nie: We can't keep a scret
10  Moet vir niemand se nie, ho: Don't tell anybody, you hear
11 Strandfontein Pavillion: A popular South African tourist hotspot
12 Doos: (afrikaans swearword) polite translation: asshole
13 Bleddie: afrikaans slang for bloody
14 Ou: guy
15 Skoentjies: shoes (diminutive form, i.e. little shoes)

HOW TO LOSE YOUR WIFE IN 1 NIGHT

I came across this receipt a friend emailed me with a very appropriate caption.

From Johannes Cloete's Wacky World

Engrish Lesson: Lost in Translation

We all speak da Engrish Language very deliciously. Some of these English translations are hilarious.

From Engrish Pictures: Lost in Translation

Bizarre Tombstones

I came across these pictures of the most bizarre tombstones ever.

From bizarre tomstones

Click on image see more.

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

If you're a South African, you may appreciate the following.

1. Open a new file on your computer.
2. Save it as "Jacob Zuma".
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of 'Jacob Zuma'?"
6. Firmly Click "Yes".

  Feel better? Tomorrow we'll do Julius Malema.

How to fail a breathalizer test

Here's one way:

Scientific Progress

Scientists in South Korea have created a dog that glows in the dark. Finally! We'll be right with you, cancer and AIDS, right now we are very busy illuminating this beagle.