the speed of light

I've discovered evidence that light travels faster than sound.  This is the reason why there are some people who may appear bright..... until you hear them speak.

Just wondering...

A bus station is where the bus stops.  A train station is where the train stops.  On my desk I have a work station.  Just wondering...

Places I've been to

I've been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots.  Apparently you can't go alone, you have to be in Cahoots with someone.  I've also never been in Cognito, either.  I hear no one recognizes you there.  I have however, been in Sane.  They don't have an airport, you have to be driven there.  I have made several trips.

The Man Rules

The Man Rules

   Finally  , the guys' side of the story. 

We always hear  " the rules "  
From the female side ….

  Now here are the rules from the male side.      

These are our rules! 
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" 
ON PURPOSE!

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.. 
(  FIRST & FOREMOST RULE )

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. 
You're a big girl.  If it's up, put it down. 
We need it up, you need it down. 
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 

1. Sunday sports.  It's like the full moon 
or the changing of the tides. 
Let it be. 

1. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. 
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work! 
Strong hints do not work! 
Obvious hints do not work! 
Just say it! 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 

1. Come to us with a problem  only  if you want help solving it.  That's what we do. 
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. 
Don't ask us. 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,

we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something 
or tell us how you want it done. 
Not both. 
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. 
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not  A  colour.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is.  

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. 
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. 
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.. 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...  Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football 
or Hockey. 

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 

1. Thank you for reading this. 
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; 

But did you know men really don't mind that?  It's like camping. 

Wacky Photographs Collection

Here's a couple of cleverly taken photographs. See if you can spot what makes these pictures way cool as well as wacky.










































No image manipulation or picture editing software was used to alter these photographs.

Evolution

A wacky perspective on Evolution ...

Woman


Man

Knowledge I gained from watching the movies

By just being observant, there are many things that can be learned from the movies.

• During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
• All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
• The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
• Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
• When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
• All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
• Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
• A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

Top 10 FORBIDDEN Library Titles For Children

1. Gerbil merry-go round, and other great microwave games.
2. Fifty new places to poke a pencil.
3. The little girl who died from eating all her vegetables
4. Why washing clothes causes childhood allergies.
5. Children's guide to hitch-hiking.
6. Flying lessons for kittens.
7. Toys that your neighbours are getting.
8. Where mothers hide treats.
9. Advanced screaming, crying and whinging.
10. How to avoid washing daddy's car.

Buffalo Theory: Why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

The science of why time in the pub passes slower

_{My good friend Antonio Gonçalves posted the folllowing unique perspective on Einstein's famous Relativity Theory.}

It turns out that there's a scientific and logical explanation for why people (mostly men) spend so much time in pubs and only get home in the early hours of the morning.

The reason for this odd behaviour is based on Einstein's famous Relativity Theory. It works like this: it is a well known fact that the more you drink, the faster you move. After about 8 beers (or 4 double brandies & coke, etc), you're moving at close to the speed of light, and this is where Einstein enters the picture. According to his Relativity Theory, any body moving at, or close to the speed of light, undergoes Time Dilation, i.e. time for you in the pub passes slower than for an observer outside the pub.

Complicated calculations have shown that the pub becomes a type of time machine:- for every half-hour spent inside the pub, something like two hours pass outside the pub. A typical situation is: "OK guys, it's 8 O'clock, I'm gonna surprise the family and get home early!!" However, the moment this person steps outside the pub, the time travel effect is negated by negative radiation from the environment, and he/she then goes:

"WTF??!!?? - why is it so quiet?? Holy sh!t!!! It's half past one!! WHAT HAPPENED???!!??" .and the answer, of course, is Time Dilation!!

I've tried to explain this to outside observers, but so far nobody (except fellow time travellers) has been able or willing to understand the sound scientific basis of this phenomenon.

Please forward this to all your known time travellers - maybe we can prove this theory by sheer, overwhelming force of numbers

The Story of the Horse and the Pig

Dreaming of raising thoroughbreds a farmer invests all his savings into buying one that became very ill within a month.

He brings in the best Vet he could afford to examine the horse and is told
“He has been infected with a very dangerous virus.
Here is the medicine you need to give him twice daily. I will be back in 3 days – if he is still unable to walk at that stage he will have to be put down”

This was overheard by a piglet that shared the stables with the horse.
Alarmed with this news, little pig went over to the horse and pleaded with him:
“My friend, please try to get up!".

Day 2 – no change
piglet kept on pleading with the horse:

“PLEASE get up or they will kill you!"

Day 3 – farmer administered the medicine but the horse is still on the ground.

Vet examined the horse and walking out of the stables sadly said :

“There is no choice – we have to put him down or the other animals could get ill".

Piglet having heard that raced over to the horse saying:
“GET UP NOW ! The vet is on his way.
It is NOW OR NEVER !!!“

Gathering all his strength the horse stood up and raced out of the stables


Farmer started jumping for joy and yelled out to the farm hands:

“This is a miracle !
This has to be celebrated properly !“

What have we learned here?

Always mind your own bloody business
and don’t meddle into things that do not involve you!

A Great Story

Here's a wacky perspective on stories.  Not just any type of story, great stories.

Ever found yourself in a situation hard to explain ....



Take courage. Never underestimate the power of a great story.

THE FRONT FELL OFF

On August 19th, 2007, an oil tanker off the coast of Australia split in two, dumping 20,000 tons of crude oil. Senator Collins, a member of the Australian Parliament, appeared on a TV news program to reassure the Australian public.

This actual interview is so funny, you'd swear it was a Saturday Night Live or Monty Python skit - but it's the real thing.








TV news program appearance

Nagging

A wacky perspective on the desire to get away from Nagging ...

Car Pooling

A Letter from the Over 30 Crowd

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... barefoot... BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!! There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents! Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe! There were no MP3' s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come undone. Cause - that's how we rolled, dig? We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... forever! And you could never win.. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! NO REMOTES!!! There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards! And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove! Imagine that! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in my day! Regards, The Over 30 Crowd

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Play stations, Nintendos and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVDs, no surround-sound or CDs, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. If YOU are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS!

Medical Definitions: Guts or Balls...

Here is another wacky perspective on medical definitions ... There is a medical distinction.. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ''Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'' BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: ''You're next, fatty.'' I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.

Grandma's Red Car

Don't you just hate it when your car gets stolen.  So does Grandma.

Some people are like Slinkies...

Wacky Poster of the day